As we get older, finding friends is as much a challenge as keeping them. With busy schedules, it can be difficult to even stay in the loop, let alone, create a wedge in your day to make new ones. You want friendship to be an organic thing. Something that just naturally clicks. However, much like any other relationship, friendships take a few seasons of intro, intimacy (as in deep dialogue and trust) and time (where events and life happenings can take place and you can get through them together – if you’re lucky.)
We wanted to know what you all thought about finding an ideal group of girlfriends and also what you did to maintain such a precious bond? The feedback was incredible and here, we list just a few of our top liked comments from women just like you (and your besties!)
Jessica T broke it down for us. In her life, she has different categories of friends that support various aspects of her life – and she theirs.
“I would say it’s super important to base any friendships on common goals/beliefs. I have 3 super close girlfriends.
- Is my amazing work bestie. We not only have a passion for teaching in common but we love our faith and our friendship challenges us to be better in both of those areas.
- Bestie from childhood. We don’t get to see each other often, but have a friendship that now spans almost 20 years. She is there for me even when we don’t get to hang out.
- Bestie in town. We don’t get to hang out that often, because LIFE, but she is there for me and I’m there for her no matter what. We became close because of church and a women’s retreat, but have stayed close because we can both help each other be better humans and moms.”
Lovely, right? Does this resonate with you? Maybe different parts of your life and personality benefit from specific people who share those same interests, passions and responsibilities.
Jennifer C. a biological and foster mom of 13 children knows what it means to have a lot of “life” happening. She shares, “I have one true sister-like friendship - we have known one another since we were 12. I put a lot of value in the friendships my kids are making from 7th grade on. In my experience, these the ones you make before “life” grabs you are the tried and true. You are “you” to these people; not your career, not someone’s spouse, not someone’s mom, not their fellow church member ...... they see you as you are ... priceless!”
Not everyone has been so fortunate to cherish those childhood chaps, but we are certainly liking the emphasis of changing that for your future generation of kids. Jen is on to something, here! Do you have any childhood friends you’ve stayed in contact with?
Casey K. sent sentiments that ring true for many of us adult women.
“Personally, I have found it very difficult to have good friendships as an adult and especially since I have had kids. I have one friendship that I have had since 6th grade and another for 9 years, but I have just recently been willing to be vulnerable and reach out to make a couple of newer friendships, but it hasn’t been easy. I believe they are very important and the way life was meant to be lived, but definitely not easy.”
We hear you loud and clear, Casey.
Lastly, we got the feedback that put the emphasis on spouse being numero uno, but the close girlfriends she also has understanding that.
Hayley S. writes, “Oh my gosh. I want to write a whole book on this! Lol. As far as how to find ideal friends...it always requires TRUE honesty. And the importance of friends and having them in concentric circles is pretty much the analogy I always use and I think it’s soooo important. My husband, Ty, is absolutely my very best friend, but my best girlfriends are what keep me alive. Lol.”
SO, what about you, “Girlfriend”? What makes up your circle of friends? Long distance, long-term, fairly new and niche-specific? Or maybe newly seeking?
Whatever your “status”, we love that you’re in relationship with us, even digitally, and look forward to hearing all about your friendships!